That’s not what we were expecting….

I’ve been laying pretty low, post-surgery. One, because I have next to no energy. Two, because I’m still a little sore. Three, because I got a lot of new information to try to process.

Let me preface this by saying that I know what my mom told me that the doctor told her, and what I can glean from the preliminary pathology report from surgery. So it’s probably not a complete picture yet, but it’s a start.

Ultimately, the purpose of the surgery was fulfilled. Benedict is out, along with a chunk of tissue that was around him. That’s the good news.

The bad news is basically everything else.

The surgeon removed four lymph nodes from the arm pit area. Three of those were malignant. One of those three was so cancerous that the lymph node was basically necrotic tissue. One of the other two is the lymph node that was biopsied back in October and came back as non-malignant at that time.

Tumors are scored on a scale, depending on the type of cancer. For breast cancer, it’s a 9-point scale. My tumor? An 8. The cells were already rated as a Grade 3 from the previous biopsy. Basically that means is that this cancer is aggressive and likely to spread quickly. I haven’t been told a “stage” yet, though.

I will definitely have to have chemotherapy. I will definitely have to have radiation. And it’s likely that I will have to have more surgery. I see my medical oncologist on Monday, and follow up with my surgeon on Thursday. And I have a therapy appointment in the middle.

I’ve basically alternated between being super pissed and devastated for the last four days. This isn’t how any of this was supposed to go. Benedict was supposed to get out, a few quick rounds of radiation, and done. Now it’s chemo? and more surgery? WTF.

I feel like a cancer patient. And that sucks.

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