Alive… not quite well, but Alive

I was not prepared.

Chemo kicked my whole ass and probably Travis’s too.

It was a straight track downhill starting a week ago. I can’t even pinpoint anything exactly. I just lost all sense of everything – energy, strength, will to exist. I didn’t leave my bed at all on Tuesday or Wednesday except to eat a tiny tiny bit, drink, and for the bathroom. Miserable. Finally called the doc on Thursday and got in to see the nurse practitioner, who scrambled to get me in for some fluids. Fluids helped a bit – I definitely felt better, even if I still wasn’t super functional. And something weird is happening with my eye area that we’re trying to get under control still.

I went back in for more fluids yesterday, and that seems to have been the extra boost. My muscles still hurt, and I still am pretty fatigued, but I no longer feel like I’m knocking on death’s door.

There’s a bit more happening but that’s about all I have energy for right now.

THANK YOU all for the good thoughts and prayers and whatever else you’re sending into the universe. That and Travis are the only things that got me through this week, so many many thanks.

4 thoughts on “Alive… not quite well, but Alive

  1. Hugs. I watched Joni go through this and there is only one way to describe it…Horrible

    You have a port, right? Convince your doctor to prescribe in home Lactate Ringers / saline IV so that you can get fluids during this and not have to go out. You can also get home palliative care so a nurse can come see you when needed to evaluate your needs. Sometimes you have to ask for what they should already be doing. Hugs


  2. Is smoking pot an option for you? It did wonders for my mom. One joint lasted her 3 days after a round of chemo. No pain, able to eat and function.

    Also, if he’s willing, I used to climb into bed with my mom and spoon her to warm her up when the heating pad wasn’t enough. She had a tough time regulating her temperature and laying next to me seemed to help especially after chemo.



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