Exhausted

I am exhausted.

Physically, mentally, emotionally. I have slept quite a bit the last two days. I still haven’t slept enough. I have no appetite. I’m trying to drink. I want to go back to bed.

This open wound is the worst. I found someone who can come do packing changes during the week, and it’s not costing me an arm and a leg, only a finger. Hopefully this will help Travis.

The wound stinks, bad. I brought it up last week, but they kind of ignored me. I’ll bring it up again this week.

The nurse insisted on ordering supplies for me this time instead of sending me home with stuff. Problem is that no one ordered the gauze I need to actually pack the wound with or enough saline. Thank goodness for Amazon.

My third round of chemo is this week. The halfway point. We will be on our own this time, so hopefully with adjusting the fluid infusion schedule, the crash won’t be quite as bad.

I feel terrible that I have to rely so much on Travis for … damn near everything. I know he’s under a lot of pressure and stress and worry and I don’t know how to make it better. I’m open to suggestions….

I had my neurology consult to see if there’s anything neuro wrong that’s causing the muscle weakness. I’m scheduled for a couple of tests on March 3, before chemo, to do some evaluation. I just feel like this can’t all be cancer related. I’m terrified that it isn’t.

Appreciate all of you who keep up via this blog. Send up some good thoughts for us if you would.